chunkymonster

I have been neglecting the hell out of this blog. I’ve been over at http://californiakaye.tumblr.com. Hop on over and check it out, if you like!

Such is life, though. I find it hard to balance so many things at once. I just feel like I haven’t found my footing, sicne the move and all. So many things are left open, so yeah, bare with me! :) 

I honestly have been feeling kinda yuckish lately, but I think I am having an epiphany … about life and what I want to do with mine, and how exactly I plan to get there. I spend so much time trying to figure out why I’m not this and why I’m not that, that I forget to realize that I have the power to make myself all the things I desire to be. 

One of those things is a healthy, strong and toned girl! I lackadasically just go through the days, not doing anything to benefit this goal of mine. I don’t want to gain all of the 28.2 pounds I had lost before moving here. I know I’ve probably gained maybe about 10, possibly less, but I’m saying 10, just to be shocked when I actually get the chance to step on a scale.  

I measured myself tonight, and I’m going to do my best to sync my mind and my body together to get moving again. I haven’t worked out in about a month and a half. :-/ I’m not giving up on the journey to 165. :) 

CURRENT STATS

Weight: UNKNOWN
Bust: 37.5 inches
Waist: 37 inches
Lower Stomach: 42.5 inches
Right Thigh: 26.5 inches
Left Arm: 15 inches / Right Arm: 16 inches
Hips: 44.5 inches 

PREVIOUS STATS

Weight: 205.8
Bust: —- (don’t have it written)
Waist: 36 inches
Lower Stomach: 41.5 inches
Right Thigh: 26.5 inches
Left Arm: 14.5 inches / Right Arm: 16 inches
Hips: 44.5 inches

As you can see, the only difference are between my left arm and waist, lower stomach regions. I gained about an inch in my waist and an inch in my lower stomach. This leads me to believe I gain weight quicker in my stomach area, than anywhere else. How convenient. 

We just got cable yesterday, so I’ll look and see what workouts are available on On Demand or do a workout from my Nike App. I just have to start doing something rather than nothing.

Talk to you guys soon!

Kaye*

Hey guys, 

So I know I haven’t posted in awhile, and I’m sorry, but I need to vent for a second. As most of you know I moved to L.A., and everything is pretty cool, except for the fact that I don’t have a job. Which is part of the reason I moved out here, yada yada yadda, blah, blah, blah. Anywho, I just got the opportunity to interview with this amazing fashion retailer. Super stoked!

But then there’s a problem.

I am feeling uber self concious about interviewing. This is LA and this IS a fashion company. The position that I am interviewing for isn’t with HQ or anything, so I’m not directly working with any models, or what have you. However, I’m not naive and I know how the fashion world can be. My roommate and all my best friends from college were in the fashion design program at SCAD. I know how it is. 

I don’t exactly fit the fashion world standards. It’s really freaking me out. I really want this position, I’m super duper qualified and it would be an awesome opportunity to announce that I work for this company and end my year and a half job search! Great job, great benefits, great pay… it’s just the total package, and everything that I am looking for right now.

I know a little about fashion, and have contacted my besties and consulted my roommate. I’m going to make sure I dress the part, but I guess how this related to this blog, is that I’m just more self conscious of my weight. I know I’ve lost a bit of weight since starting this blog, but I’m still a 14/16, and that’s HUGE compared to fashion standards. It’s just kind of putting a damper on my mood, and I’m like “What if they don’t hire me because I’m fat?” I mean I shouldn’t want to work for a company that treats its employees like that (in the event thats the reason I’m not hired), but still. I really like this company, and it would look awesome on my resume. 

Another thing, that worries me, which I just want to be honest here. If you don’t know (which I’m sure you do), I’m african-american. All the models and employees that seem to work at this company, as far as I am aware are not. Lately, Color/Race has been a big deal in the fashion world. It really sucks, because there are a lot of talented people who have a serious and enthusiastic desire to work in fashion! We are all different shades of the rainbow and I’m just scared, because at that point it’s like “She’s fat AND she’s Black!” 

Now, that’s not to say I’m ashamed of my race or anything. I’m just merely stating a fact that most people like to ignore. I’m not playing the race card either, I’m just being realistic. Anyway, I just wish people got jobs based on their qualifications and their enthusiasm and not about external factors that have nothing to do with a person’s ability to do their job. 

So, yeah…. that’s pretty the extent of how I’m feeling. Nevertheless, wish me luck!

I shall keep you all posted!

Besos*

Kaye*

Hello Tumblr Friends,

I know I’ve been MIA for awhile, but as some of you may recall, I have recently relocated to Los Angeles, California. Things here have been pretty crazy. I’m still trying to get used to everything, and honestly I’ve been just a tad homesick. Overall, I am adjusting pretty well and just trying to get a routine going.

I haven’t done so well with weight loss/healthy eating. I don’t have my scale (I’m waiting to get my car shipped to me) and there were a few big items that I couldn’t bring with me on the plane. The scale being one of them. It’s pretty sucky without it. I know I’ve probably gained a few pounds, but I’m not sure how many… 

I have my good days and my bad, in regards to daily life and also to eating well. It’s proving to be more of an adjustment than I initially expected. But as the days progress, things are pretty decent. I would really love to reach goal weight by my 26th birthday, which is in 106 days! On my last weigh in, I was around 206 pounds, so roughly a little more than 41 pounds to lose. That’s way better than the 69 pounds I started off with! :) 

Gonna revamp my goal timeline, post some motivation for myself and also, for you all and we’re gonna kick this thing back in gear!

Kaye*